Today, I almost convinced one of our contributors to write a blog called, 'An Open Letter To Guys With Girlfriends' considering the fact that everyone we like lately HAS A GIRLFRIEND.
And this is certainly not the only/first time this has happened to me. When I was in high school, I loved liking guys with girlfriends because it meant that I could be all sad and downtrodden and look out the car window on rainy days while listening to Jeff Buckley but never really do anything about it.
Now, though, I tend to go for guys who are a little more...available...but even that has its challenges. In Shelby and I's case, we go to events, we talk up musicians, we think that they're awesome and funny and cute and smart and then...they friend us on Facebook.
And we see that beautiful 'IN A RELATIONSHIP' reality check.
So, go for the available guys, right? Hit them up! There's plenty of single guys out there!
Ha. You'd think.
The last time I went out with an 'available' guy, I never really went out with him. The first time we met, we were in a group, and he acted totally uninterested in me. The second time, he invited me out for drinks after we'd already hung out in a group and we totally hit it off. After that? Didn't hear from him again until we hung out again in group settings-- and hard as I tried to isolate him, we only ever saw each other when other people were involved.
The time before that, I started liking a temporary roommate of mine, I guy I became close friends with after moving into his house before my lease on my new place started. We had a ton in common and a lot of chemistry-- but he'd only make a move when he was drunk.
So, what is this? Do I just have bad luck? Am I into guys that don't like to pull the trigger? What's the deal here?
My theory is this: either A) That thing my mom always told me to make me feel better is actually true, and these guys really aren't interested in my because I'm successful and intimidating, or B) they're afraid to make a move and they are interested in me, or C) They're not interested in me at all and were never interested in me in the first place.
All of these answers are OK. If A), I like being successful and having a good job and being busy all the time. If that bothers a guy...well, it should never bother a guy. That's dumb.
If B)...I don't really think it's B). I gave both guys PLENTY of opportunities. For fuck's sake, I asked the group outings guy on a date THREE TIMES (he went out with me all three times, by the way. Each time got interrupted by friends showing up midway through).
If C), that's fine, too, but LET ME KNOW. Stop saying yes to hang out with me. Stop saying that you had a fun time on our solitary outing and would love to hang out again if that's a blatant lie. Stop inviting your friends to break up our 'date' because you didn't want to reject me-- just freaking reject me. I'm a big girl, I can take it.
Most of all, stop hitting on my when you're drunk. Stop cock blocking me in clubs when I get some cute dude's phone number if you aren't later going to kiss me and tell me how you really feel. Stop forgetting that something happened after you hugged me in the freezing cold and wrapped me up in your jacket to keep me warm with your body heat. You were too drunk? Yeah, right.
My plea is this: if you aren't interested, let me know. If you are, let me know. It's that simple.
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